I was so mad at Kiwi yesterday! First, she started her usual “wake Mary up at 3 am” antics. After about an hour and a half of that, I gave up trying to sleep and decided to get an early start on the chores of the morning.

I was taking the trash out to the bin in the garage when I heard the deadbolt on the door to the house slide shut. Kiwi had just locked me out of the house by jumping on the inside of the garage door and turning the deadbolt! It was 4:30 am and I was in nothing but a t shirt and underwear and all doors to the house were locked!

So I’m locked in the garage thinking f*%k, how do I get out of this one. No key, no cell phone, nothing. Luckily a shower curtain was in my truck for Goodwill donation, so I wrapped that around me. I knew the back window over the kitchen counter was open only a crack and had a wooden dowel in the track for security so it wouldn’t open further. Could I get in that way? (The window is really high off the ground, like about 8-9 feet.

The window was not open wide enough for me to get through though, so I took a stepladder from the garage (luckily I had my crocs on or walking in the back yard rocks would not have been fun) and I climbed up and ripped a giant hole in the screen and got the screen off, then used the pooper scooper rake in a “power McGyver move” to reach over to the inside window frame and wiggle the wooden dowel out of the window track so I could open the window. Much to my amazement it worked, and the dowel popped out! I was barely able to climb in the house using the top step of the stepladder. So I hurled my fat ass through the window, shower curtain, crocs, and all.

Once inside, I found a spare housekey and hid it in the garage to prevent such a travesty in the future. This is the third time she’s deadbolted me out into the garage (I leave and she frantically jumps at the door). The first time I had left the back door open, and the second time I had my housekeys with me – not so lucky this time.

If that window hadn’t been open, I would have had to wait a few hours in the garage, then go to my neighbors wearing a shower curtain and had them call a locksmith, or wait in the closed garage until 2 pm until my dog walker showed up to let me in.

I guess no one called the cops so its nice to know someone can break into my house without anyone caring 🙂 I’m still pretty mad. And now I have to buy a new screen.

*&%&^%^& Kiwi!