(To the tune of Little Jeannie by Elton John)

Oh, little Murphy
You’ve got sooo much pee
Little Murphy
And you’re whizzin’ it all inside
Concealing all the pee from me

Oh, little Murphy
My carpet’s screaming for mercy
Little Murphy
I use spot shot where I can, but I can smell what can’t be seen!

And I want you to be housebroken… I want you to be a good dog
Oh, I’ve had others – the other dogs knew what to do – ooh- ooh
And oh Murphy… I just found more of your poo!

(I stepped… into the pile like a bad dream… making the rug before you seem… so very cushy and new…)
Oh Murphy, it’s a damn good thing you’re cute!